Lima Beans

I know the old addage: focus on the big stuff, don't sweat the little stuff.

But what if the little stuff must be addressed because, if not, it will become a much bigger problem in the future?  Then what do we do?  Here's what happened...

We have just a couple rules at home about food: (1) try everything at least once, only then can you make a judgment of whether you like or not and (2) eat the bulk of what is put on your plate or (a) you don't get dessert or (b) you don't get the night-time snack.  Usually, this is not a problem.  The boys like things that most other kids their age, sometimes even adults, won't touch; broccoli and green beans, for example.  

Tonight's dinner (hotdogs and mixed veggies) had an unforseen guest: the lima bean.  It was among the mixed veggies (along with peas, carrots, corn, and green beans).  Jacob saw it and immediately asked if he had to eat it.  I tried reasoning with him:  Have you tried it?  It's good!  You only have to eat one, if you don't like it, don't eat the rest (about 7 in the overall lump of veggies).  I thought I had it beat.  Logical, kind, and with an out if he didn't like it.  I even suggested he eat one along with some other veggies to mask the negative experience.    Then, he was reminded of the usual rule (which we remind them of on occasion, not just tonight).

This very simple event took us to Jake being concerned that if he didn't eat it, while ok in the eyes of the dinner gods, would not be ok with the dessert or snack gods.  As much we both tried to not dwell on the issue, Jake did so for what lasted nearly 30 minutes.  Torn between not wanting to try/eat the lima bean and wanting a dessert/snack later.  We tried to ignore, after we thought we had made things very clear and he obviously understood them, all the talking and whyning Jake was doing.  

Finally, even after everybody was well beyond done with their meal, Jake finally decided to take the bite.  He did so as I had suggested, eating it amidst the other veggies.  He said he didn't like it.  I just answered, with a "Ok.  At least now you know.  Was that as difficult as you thought it would be?"  He stared at me a little then shook his head.  "Do you want dessert now or snack later," I asked him as he put his plate on the kitchen counter.  "Snack later," he replied.

So, questions:

(1) Did we do this right?
(a) Was it ok to focus on the one bloody lima bean, or should we have let it go 

& just be happy he is already eating (& likes) so many veggies?

(b) If we were right to have him follow our basic rule of trying new things, did we do

the rest adequately?  How could we have done this better?

(2) Is it worth going through all of this for every new thing that he is adamant about trying?

(3) How can we make the experience of trying new things for Jake more pleasant, particularly in those times when he gets it in his head that there is something bad or wrong about what he is trying?